“Don’t mourn me too long…”
This is a quote from my recently completed book.
Although the quote refers to mourning the death of a beloved family member, the notion is the same for those of us in metaphorical mourning.
Many of us are being called to sacrifice things which are very difficult to let go of. We look at what is being asked of us with a sudden fear. What will I be when I let this go (as my pastor mentioned this morning)? Do I really want to give this up? What will people think? How will I explain this to them? Can I really live without this _________ (fill in the blank: dream, desire, object, relationship, emotion, mentality, pain, bitterness, action, etc.)?
There are things and people I’ve had to let go of in recent years and one in particular was very difficult. As a single mom, I’m constantly thinking of my kids not having an earthly father around to help raise them. I see a lot of articles and posts about how children without fathers turn out. It’s very upsetting and frustrating. So, when a man we’d known a very long time came along a couple years ago I thought, this is it. It could very well have been. I could have said yes, he would have moved here and we may have lived happily ever after.
Suddenly, I felt the Lord leading me to cut ties with this person. It was a very painful situation. He loved the Lord and he loved me. He would be a good father for my children. We could make a life together. If God knew the desires of my heart and I was following after Him, why would He ask me to give up what I considered to be an answer to years of prayer?
As led, I let him go. He didn’t understand, and I didn’t know how to explain it to him. It didn’t make sense to me, either. How could I refuse the call of the Almighty, though? With tears in my eyes as I write this, I still wonder…
But, if i can boast in one thing I know, it’s that my God is faithful. He will repay a hundredfold what we have given up in obedience, in sacrifice. We don’t deserve the repayment. I don’t, that’s for sure. I have no right to expect or ask Him to do any more than what He has already done for me through His Son’s death on the cross. I refuse to continue mourning the loss of the love I could have had when I have a love that will last for eternity. He is enough for me.
Sometimes I have to remind myself of His goodness and His perfect plan for my life. There are days when I have to give up the dream again, painfully still. But He sustains me. He always will. And He’ll sustain you, too. Whatever it is He is calling you to let go of (and He’s daily calling me to let go of things as I draw near to Him), know that it’s more than worth it to be obedient. Yes, it will be difficult. Any life-altering decision can be, but He will make it worth your while.
Don’t mourn too long. Your present suffering is nothing in comparison to the joy set before you when you choose to be obedient.