I was totally freaking out. Sometimes God has to talk me off the proverbial ledge. I should explain: I get to move. I’m looking for a place to move into by mid-February or earlier. My uncle, who owns the house I’ve lived in for coming up on 7 years, is selling it. He has been more than generous in allowing me to stay in this house without charging me market-value. It has been such a blessing, but now they need to sell and I need to move on. I’m so grateful for their help, of course. But, hearing I needed to start looking brought up all kinds of emotions.
- Well, that was faster than I expected!
- How am I going to afford it?!
- Where am I going to go?!
- I’m not going to find something in time!
- I need to pack now (yeah, I stayed up till 11 boxing and throwing things away)!
- I have to start applying to EVERYTHING that comes available!
- If I don’t apply for everything, I might miss out!
- If I don’t look now, there might not be anything later!
- Will I be able to bring my grandma’s piano?! (What?! It’s important…)
- What am I going to do?!
Ladies & Gentlemen, We Have a Theme
See the theme, here? More catastrophic as it went on. Rush, rush, rush. Get it done now. RIGHT NOW. Panic attack of action basically. It’s like in those movies where someone is acting crazy freaking out about something and someone has to come along and slap them in the face to calm down. It’s like when the lockdown started and everyone flipped out and bought up all the toilet paper. Same stupid idea. Seriously, don’t go nuts buying TP y’all.
I was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off! Gross visual, but there it is. Sometimes we jump into panic mode when things happen that are beyond our control.
Voices in My Head
My Pastor always says, “Slow down. If you can’t do it in peace, it’s not yours to do (or not yet).” My advisor and friend (spiritual dad) always quotes Psalm 37:23 at me:
“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he delighteth in his way.”Psalm 37:23
These are the thoughts that ran through my mind today as I was filling out an application for a house to rent. Halfway through, I thought my goodness I am totally losing it. Again, that childish mentality of, “I do it myself,” was coming up.
Emotional Actions Lead to Disastrous Outcomes: Saul
Sometimes, we just gotta take a step back and find out what in the world we’re thinking. Of course, I read something today that had to do with Saul and had to read it in my Bible. And of course, in true God fashion, it was exactly what I needed to read in this situation. I learned that if I get all tangled in the what if, the stress, and the worry, then I’m taking on the Saul mentality of 1 Samuel 13. And that can’t be good.
The story goes like this: Saul was about to go into battle with the Philistines who had gathered themselves together 30k chariots, 6k horsemen, and more soldiers than could be counted.
Samuel had told Saul to wait 7 days for him, but on the 7th day when Samuel didn’t show up, the Israelites started to leave Saul. He freaked out and rushed to tell them to bring the burnt offering to him so he could offer it to the Lord (a big no-no). As soon as he finished offering to the Lord, (of course) Samuel showed up. Since Saul didn’t follow the Lord’s command and wait, his kingdom would be stripped of him and given to one after God’s own heart.
Moral of the Story
The point is, when we rush to do things rather than follow the Word that says, “Be anxious for nothing” (Philippians 4:6-7), “Be still and know that I am God”(Psalm 46:10), and “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33), we run into all sorts of trouble. I was rushing and freaking out and trying to handle it all myself when God is faithful, is He not? He will provide, will He not? Do I need to run around and act like the sky is falling? NO! And neither do you.
Let’s just all take a breather, slow down, and tell God thanks for having it all handled. I mean, if God tells the Sun when to rise and set, set boundaries for the oceans, and put our heartbeat in motion, can’t He handle something so small as finding me a place to live when the time comes? Does that mean I’m going to sit on my “laurels” and do nothing at all? No, but I’ll do what is needed and let Him handle the rest. He’s watching the birds of the air, and I’m cooler than them (so there), so I have nothing to fear.
I’m in good hands. And so are you!
><> Fear not! <><